I love my future mother-in-law, I really do. So far, she has been like an angel sent from the good Lord above. She's sweet, helpful, funny, generous, caring, and other words synonymous with "good mother". 

But, as our wedding rapidly approaches in less than three months, she's become a bit, er, controlling. It started with the wedding guest list a while back. Because of financial complications, I was forced to axe half of my family from my portion of the guest list. Knowing this, my mother-in-law chimes in, wanting to invite cousins that even my fiance doesn't even remember/know. My fiance and I finalized the guest list by ourselves, listing only the people who were most important to him.

More recently, while sending out Christmas cards, I sent her a list, asking for a few addresses. She asked why and I told her I was sending out Christmas cards. Once again, she took the liberty to send me a list of people that she thought I should send Christmas cards to. Lady, I love you, but I'm very limited on Christmas cards and only the people who mean the most to me are getting them.

With the wedding guest list finalized, I realized there was only one more event before the wedding that we would need a guest list for: the bridal shower. This is where my frustrations peaked. She began messaging me about different people, had I invited them, and if not, why? I have always been under the impression that the bridal shower is for close family and friends - not people I've never even met or have only met once. Then, she proceeded to say that my fiance's grandmother would be mad at me if I didn't invite her sister to the bridal shower. After the treatment I've gotten from his grandmother, I could give a shit less if she gets mad at me anyway. She hasn't liked me from the beginning, simply because she told his dad that I remind her of his dad's first wife. So basically, just because I had blonde hair, I didn't even have a fair chance of being in her good graces. Once we got engaged, she came over to visit and my fiance was so excited to tell her the good news. With a disgusted look on her face, she said, "With all that money, I would have bought her something she REALLY wanted instead of a piece of jewelry." After my fiance and I had gotten engaged and been together for a year and a half, she presented me with a card at Christmas with "?" on the envelope. She said, "I couldn't remember your name, so I just put a question mark." My feelings were hurt, and as I told my fiance, I would have rather her remembered my name and not gotten a gift than for her to have forgotten my name and gotten me anything. So, pleasing her is obviously not at the top of my to-do list.

Today, his mother messaged me again, wanting to know why I hadn't invited her cousin and her cousin's mom and grandma. I asked for said cousin's address, because I didn't intend on sending one to the cousin's mom or grandma, simply because I don't know them. She replied with five addresses, which included two additional people that were not included in the previous text. 

Then I realized something. This is never going to end. I may have a chance to relax..but soon after we get married, we want to have a baby and what happens with a baby? Baby showers. And then there'll be the Christmas cards again. And then the kids' birthday parties. And then the kids school functions that are sometimes invite only. And then the kids' graduations. I am literally exhausted at the thought of it.

And I know that some of you have way worse mothers-in-law, but this, I believe, is just the beginning for me.

Have you experienced similar situations with your mother-in-law?

Before recent events, I had only witnessed one occurrence of "emotional cheating" in my life and that was several years ago when my aunt was carrying on what my mom called an "emotional affair" with her kids' little league coach and her former classmate. Before then, I never even knew such an affair existed. I had always thought that cheating was purely physical. Boy, was I proven wrong.

Recently, I introduced two of my best friends. One, a single man in his early twenties, with wishes to start a life in the military - the other a young woman in her early twenties with wishes to move to a bigger city and pursue her dream of art. The catch to this: she was in a relationship with a soldier who was stationed 2,000 miles away. Over the months after I introduced them, they became significantly closer, even going so far as to exclude me from group outings, movie dates, lunch dates, and whatever else. When I got excluded, they began doing more intimate things: seeing movies as a couple, going to lunch as a couple, having dinner with each others' families, and even going so far as to spend the night at one another's house. She began to confide in him about her relationship and her overprotective boyfriend, but who wouldn't be if their girlfriend was cavorting around town with a man he didn't know, who was basically serving as a replacement for the man who was actually her boyfriend. 

A few days after New Year, my friend expressed extremely strong feelings for the aforementioned young woman. He basically stated that he felt sorry for her and that he was scared that she wouldn't be able to handle being single once she and her boyfriend broke up and that he might as well step up and be the one "she stays up all night and talks to on the phone because she would have no one else to do it". I couldn't believe my friend was being so cavalier about it, especially after he had seen her behavior when her boyfriend was all the way across the country. Over the summer, my guy friend will be going on a mission trip to Alabama for three months and immediately after, he is leaving to enroll in the coast guard, which leads me to believe that she will replace him with someone else, as she did her previous boyfriend. Obviously, she needs someone tangible, who can be there for and with her at all times and he won't be able to be that soon.

I found this article online and most of the characteristics (with the exception of sex) listed matched their "friendship" perfectly:

What are some of the red lights that detect whether you are an emotional cheater?

• You keep aspects of your intimate life for your “friend” and do not share them with your partner.
• Your friendship shifts from platonic to romantic and you feel less connected to your partner.
• You think about your friend most of the time and you fantasize about him or her even when you are making love with your partner.
• You feel recognized, appreciated, even loved by your “friend” so you do not feel the need to connect to your partner. You feel a distance between you and your partner.
• You withhold and “cut off” valuable aspects of who you are, particularly your intimate self and your intimate life from your partner. You stop having sex with your partner.
• You discuss the things you don’t like about your spouse or your married life with your friend and not with your spouse.
• You tell your “friend” more about what goes on regarding your workday and your work life than you do with your partner.
• You feel as if your “friend” has your heart.
• You are dishonest with your spouse about the extent of the friendship and feelings with and for your “friend.”
• You would be embarrassed if your partner read the e-mails, notes, or eavesdropped on a conversation, or saw the way you interacted in person with your “friend.”
• When you are with your “friend” your body language communicates that your feelings are stronger than friendship.
• There is sexual tension and you can discuss it openly with your “friend.”

The girl confessed on a social networking site that feelings did accumulate while she was still in her previous relationship, so I'm not just completely speculating here. 

So, what do you think is worse, or are they the same: Physical or emotional affairs?

I feel as if the two are bad in their own ways. With physical affairs, you're sharing something as intimate as sex with someone other than your partner. But with emotional affairs, you're sharing something even more intimate than sex: your mind, your heart, etc. with someone other than your partner. This is a battle even for me, because I have no idea which would be worse: knowing that my fiance had sex with someone else or knowing that my partner was emotionally and romantically connected to someone other than me. 

Reasons Men Two-Time During Summer

"Remember when you were a kid and summer meant no school, freedom, and fun? Well, that attitude carries over into adulthood, leaving us with the sense that during these months, the usual rules don't apply. "Some men take this to mean that it's okay to cheat once the hot weather rolls around," explains Daniel Kruger, PhD, evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. "They think, Oh, it's just a summer fling, as if normal couple behavior is on hiatus."

That same outlook also makes people associate the summer with adventure. "Now is the time when you're more apt to try something new, and any novelty increases your body's production of dopamine, which triggers the release of testosterone — two chemicals associated with energy, elation, and sex," explains Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. Translation: A guy may seek sexually charged situations and could give in if tempted."